Its about time. What a waste. Too much TV. Too much waste of everything. Time ticks ticks and tocs moment by moment, yet I find myself inscesantly doing I can to dilute life. Indeed I have become a whiney little bitch lately. To "be still" and see the real me _ well, if that's who I am, if that is what I do - then yes. I have become something rather reprehensible... atleast by my standards. Or should I say the standards I once thought I had. There was a time (beleive there was a time) when I had a clear vision. I had a prize, I was able to keep my eye on it till I got it. What happened?
Was it impatience?
Anger?
Frusteration?
Ego?
Bullshit. Its everything and nothing. Fuckin aye, I can't even make a clear point. I gotta quit smoking the shit. I gotta quit drinking. I have to do something productive in between sleeping, jerking off, and shitting.
Work.
TV.
Food.
Pot.
Drink.
Sex.
Day dream and fantasy.
Who we imagine ourselves as is not who we are. It may be who we have potential to be, but it certainly isn't who we are. Who we are can often creep up on us. Not always so pleasant.
Mopping.
Sulking.
Whining.
Pity parties.
FEAR.
Lot's of things to fear.
Disease.
Mental illness.
Humiliation.
Failure.
Prison.
Hell.
What a mess, sigh_______.
